Heart Cracking Open

Sweetness
We are all so full of sweetness
It amazes me
Were I to open my heart
To this sweetness
It would pour out of me
Flooding
Cracking open my heart to give voice to what is felt
Cracking open my throat to let the sound of fullness, of sweetness, of joy pour forth
Opening to let you see me as I am
See me as I am
Do not be deceived by the masks I wear to deceive you
They are a shallow device
Unskillfully worn
Shielding me from that which is real
From that which I crave
From that which I am
Shielding me from being known by you
Masking only my love
Revealing all of my fear
Confusing you
Do not be deceived by these clothes I wear
They attempt to simplify and only confuse
I am woman, feminine, smart, ready to serve in this capacity
in this capacity
in this capacity
look at my clothing
it will tell you how I serve
Hair, makeup, shirt, pants, shoes
Look at my clothing
Skin, shape, color, texture
these too are clothing
Clothing the tender heart of me from being seen and felt
A 'no trespassing' sign designed to keep you out
Designed to trick us both into believing I am an entity separate and discreet from you
I am separate from you - ha!
Crack my heart open
God
Fuck me open
I ask for what I know not and for that which I yearn and yearn
That which I crave
Open me
And let me pour out
Even if I exhaust myself in one gush and am no more
It will be worth it to feel myself flowing,
to feel the feeling of feeling being the flow,
being the feeling
If my life blood gushes upon the earth and is no more
It will be worth it
And if my life blood should gush upon the earth
And I fade from existence
My life blood keeps flowing
And I am the feeling of flowing
the heart cracking open
the soul naked and giving
the being united in ah
Should this happen, I ask for
I pray for
the endurance to feel, to flow, to be open
the wisdom to know this is what I am
I do not need to hide from it nor endure it
I ask for the courage to be that which I am
All of me
Even when the me is no more

by Kassandra Genovesi
July '04

Created on ... July 17, 2004