Yoga Shows the Way
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Yoga Shows the Way |
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In 2000, I let go of my marriage, my apartment, and thriving yoga classes I had worked hard to establish. Why? Because yoga is transformation. For me, that meant leaving home and going on a journey of self-discovery. It meant admitting that I was not fully fulfilled in my life as it was and that I wanted to reach for more. To be the change I wished to see in the world, I had to uncover who I really was. "What really motivates me? What are my dreams? What is my ideal work, relationship, home?" These are the questions I left seeking answers to.
I started in the Bahamas - a nice place to go in January - and took the month-long immersive Sivananda Teacher Training. The lifestyle is one of morning meditation, kirtan, and philosophy from 6 to 8am, morning yoga asana from 8 to 10 am, brunch from 10 -11am, seva or service from 11 to noon. During the afternoons the schedule is noon to 2pm anatomy, philosophy and sometimes free time followed by 2 to 4pm lecture and philosophy then 4 to 6pm evening asana. From 6 to 7 is dinner usually followed by free time from 7 to 8 pm and the evening guest speaker, meditation, kirtan, and philosophy from 8 to 10pm. Then we sleep for a bit and it starts all over the next day. There is a goodness to feeling the lifestyle of a place and surrendering to it's rhythms. When I left Sivananda, I had no idea what I was going to do. I even thought of returning to California and trying to pick up my old life. The uncertainty was almost overwhelming. Lucky for me, I had filled my old shoes well enough that there wasn't any room for me to pick up my old life. I had to move on. After some time trying on different ideas, I decided to apply for seasonal staff at Omega Institute for Holistic Studies in Rhinebeck, New York. I had never been to Omega but had heard that it was a powerful place for study and transformation. Woo Hoo. Sign me up! I applied and was accepted into one of the best roles I could possible have. I was part manager and part audio recording tech. I got to experience middle management and working with staff and I also got to get out of the office and sit in on a wonderful array of workshops. I got to sit in the back and record the workshops. This meant I really had to listen and pay attention, but I also had an observer's seat where I could look for and learn from how the teachers presented their material. This was an amazing way to deepen and increase my studies. I am so very very grateful to Omega and all the people who helped me learn so much there. Thank you.
It was at Omega that I met Chris. What started out as a seeeminly casual relationship has continued to grow and evolve. We're still together!
In late 2004, I moved from Omega to Boulder although I had never even visted here before. I had heard stories of Naropa and thought I'd like to get my masters in the Somatic Psychology department. I had heard several other people from Omega had moved here or where spending time here. I had heard that the weather was very sunny. Chris liked the sun and also the snow as he had a desire to ski and snowboard. So without a visit, we up and moved. Two Hondas drove across the country to arrive in Boulder on November 17, 2004. Chris and I agreed to meet at the Pearl Street Whole Foods. And so we sat and ate and looked at the mountains. And thus started one of the hardest parts of my journey. I arrived in a new town without contacts, without a job, 5 months pregnant and learning how to live in the same house with Chris. He did great and found work very quickly. He was an electrician and he opened up the yellow pages under 'electrician' and started with the A's and called each company looking for work. By the time he got to the B's he found a job with Boulder Electric and a good mentor in David. I had hoped to teach and did teach some classes at Studio Be, workshops at my home, and a few private clients. I had underestimated how challenging it would be to be pregnant with all the other new factors of my life in Boulder. Nonetheless, I had a great homebirth of Jasmine on March 21, 2005. She was born in the warm water tub with her dad and a trusted friend attending. We did an amazingly good job bringing this little person into the world. I still longed to teach and so I started a regular class at Studio Be teaching intermediate flow and a prenatal class at the Rec Center teaching each one once a week. We continued this until just before the birth of my second daugther.
Nearly 3 years later, I was pregnant again and we took another major shift in work as Chris gave his notice to Boulder Electric and opened up his own shop, Uptown Electric. He started his new business and we had another wonderful homebirth of Kaylyn on February 28, 2008. A quicker, easier labor Kaylyn arrived in the world into the same birthtub as her sister with her dad and sister attending. For the next nearly 3 years, we had the rhythm of Chris working and me staying home with the girls. I'd moonlight at Studio Be and the Recreation Center from time to time. For 2010 I made the New Year's resolution to let myself be just a student of yoga for the year. I had never just been a student before but had always been both student and teacher. This was a new role and a gift to just refine my own practice. I hoped to begin teaching at least a little in 2011.
In October 2010, Chris got the news that the discomfort and odd physical sensations he'd been experiencing were due to Marfan's Syndrome. A disorder that could lead to serious, possibly life-threatening complications if Chris over-exerts himself. Due to the physical nature of his work as an electrician, Chris and I made the decision to morph our roles. I am now going out into the world to make the money our family needs. Chris is going to stay home more with the girls and immerse himself more in the experience of fatherhood. I am delighted by the changes in our roles. There is an important side to my character that thrives on interaction with other adults. I love to teach. I love to have conversations and study about the meaning of why we are here and how we can make our short lives as human beings more meaningful, fun, deep, and worthwhile. I also think our girls will benefit hugely from a more active father presence in their lives. Dads do it differently than moms. Both perspectives are important.
The ideal work I am looking for is to teach a combination of group and private classes. I would like to teach in a corporate setting. I believe that bringing self-awareness and compassion into corporate America is the best way to change the world at this time. I want to work within the system to change the way the system works.
How is your story unfolding? What would you like to share? I look forward to hearing from you. Namaste.
Last updated ... January 2011